A Reply

Permit me to say something that needs to be asked of you.
IN all your proclaimations of your love for Dominic. I realise that God has been replaced in your heart.

As a brother in christ, i pray Andrew that you would realise that its God you have been craving for in your life. Not Dominic.

You have placed your hopes on Dominic to take the place of what only God can fill.

i can't hope to understand the way you feel currently.

But Andrew, you really gota let go.
I'll b more than willing to pray for you and perhaps even get the youth to pray together for you.

perhaps Dominic was too nice not to ask for a break up. Unfortunately i feel things will lead that way eventually. You know it will too don't you.

Whatever God does not approve of cannot last.

i Hope you don't think i'm condemning you.
Far from it.

I don't know how you would react to reading this.
But i personally feel that you had to hear this.

I know a little about what its like to be gay. I might have had a tiny crush on a guy even before in army. And that freaked me out. It was easy for me to say no to my feelings that time.

You have a heart for God.
That is without doubt.
God yearns for you for us to come back to his side.

May you be like the phoenix who rises from the ashes mighty and vibrant, cleansed in fire and reborn from the ashes.

Andrew, i really pray you come back to God.
Rich 05.15.06 - 1:22 pm #

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This response came in a bit late, but yeah... thanks Richard for the very long comment on my blog entry...

Thanks to all the multitude of people who have been praying for me for this "problem"....

And, an even bigger thanks to Ronald and Zheng Yang who is really going all the way out to try to help me in this "problem"....

You see, as most of you people who have already talked to me thoroughly, over and over again, it has nothing to do with inherent psychological trauma or anything that can shape me into "that sort" or people...


Richard, I thank God that I have brother who is so concerned about me, but no matter what, you can never understand love from the stand of a homosexual.

I hate to use the word homosexual, because it has become an insult on the lips of the community, and a scourge on the people who are indeed homosexual.

even the word "gay" is used as in a degratory fashion.

If God has been the one that I have been craving all along in my life, wouldnt that make sense if the entire world becomes celebate?

You see, God made humans for the company of one another.
Though we are suppose to be completely dependent on God, we do need the love and comfort of another person... and that is when a relationship is formed.

I placed my hopes in Dominic?

nah.

I know Dominic loves me... and I know I love him too. No matter how long we hope, we'll just take our love as far as our relationship will take us...

"Perhaps Dominic was too nice not to ask for a break up."
I think you misunderstood my post....

Dominic was not planning for a break up, rather, we both realized the ominiousity of the situation.
6 months is indeed not short for a homosexual relationship.

you know why? (I actually did an entry on this quite some time ago)

- Because of the pressure society gives them to break up

- Because they are unable to do stuffs that would be deemed "normal" in a straight relationship

- Because their family will not approve of it

- Because (if they are christian), God will not approve of it

- Because of the very little time they can spend together cut out from the eyes of society

- Because because because ....

There are a ton of influencing factors that are constantly bombarding a homosexual relationship... much more then any straight relationship have. And thats why the time span is always so short-lived.

And using that statistic to justify, many people believe that homosexuals just can't be together.

is that true? think.

Having a crush on another girl is normal.
Admiration can lead to crush
Crush can lead to obsesession
Obsession can lead to adoration

and soon, you realize that you have understood the girl enough, and she is not for you.

see? the fragile emotions that take place in between?

If it were a guy.

You admire that guy, causes adoration
Adoration causes obsession.
Obsession cases a crush.

its simple psychological mathematics. but of course, you're straight. so when you realize that you are heading the wrong direction, you freak out.



God yearns for me to come back to His side...
I know..
But I'm sure He yearns for me to come back to His side, the same way He yearns for a straight couple who is obsessed with one another to come back to His side...


I dont think you're condamming me, and I don't want to think that you're condamming me...
but you must understand that I have tried.

- note : to all those people who think I HAVE NOT MADE THE EFFORT.

I HAVE tried.

For almost a year, I tried to completely purge myself from this "sin", and kept asking in faith for God to change me.

apparantly, it isn't in His plan. at least not yet.

I've tried counselling, I've tried prayer, I've tried miracle sessions, I've tried self-restrain, I've tried almost everything to change.

no change.

It'll be better if I live my life like a living hell right?


John 3:16
"For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son, Jesus Christ, that whosoever believes in Him, shall not perish, but have eternal life."

I believe.
I know He's in me.

And that is all that matters.

To me, Dominic is a gift... maybe not from God, but still, he is the closest thing to love I can feel on earth...


I've always been with God. Rather, Jesus lives in me...

As I'll never understand the nuances of a straight relationship,
You'll never understand the clockworks of a homosexual relationship.


Few people will.